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opinionated
views misconstrued. miscarriage
of belief, religion…

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It seems everything I touch turns to dust…
Everyone I ever loved
Runs away never to be seen again with these eyes…
I know we’re only promised life and death but,
Why is it the ones I love the most are the first to die?
Mommy told me go to school
Get a diploma, college, graduate and you’ll be the coolest one
She never mentioned that I’d have children,
Never married, knowing a real womans worth
Fighting a judicial system to hold my daughter and teach my son to pee on a tree in an emergency…


Crossing the street,

In the midst of the crosswalk

Between traffic, BAM it hits me….

I have never rubbed elbows with the rich and wealthy

Except on an east side train to the village…

 

Watching Friends marathon

Boxers and socks

Alone in bed

6 glasses of pinto grigio later, BAM it hits me…

Love doesn’t know me,

Loneliness is my only friend and (my) life is empty…

 

Standing in the midst of a city that never sleeps

Promotes a naked cowboy

But arrests a human Spider-Man showing his talents, scaling its tallest building

Shoots innocent men 40 some odd times

Beats another for rushing to a City Council meeting and BAM it hits me…

For 34 years I’ve lived here

2 failed relationships, three and half years locked away in the mountains and 4 children later

I think its time for a change…

 

When did it hit you???

 


today when i awoke
as usual i brushed my teeth
and glared in the mirror at the reflection it held
at first sight i couldn’t tell the face before me
but as i sat in awe
and wondered where i knew this mans face from
it came to me like a dream
this was a man born to a church
that as years grew on
he felt had abandoned him
a mother who did not know him
sisters that could not understand him
and the streets loved him more then he had respect for
this man i stare at in confusion
was broken
lost
hopeless
and left out in the cold to freeze
but found a small light that led him to grams of coke
that brought him new clothes and shoes
a home far beyond his dreams
above in the mountains
where he found a friend that embraced him the way he wished his mother did
and from then poetry never left him
and has given him dreams of fame and riches
hopes of one day making it big
open mics, book deals
touching those lost the same as him
and hopefully he then can put his past behind his shadow
where he will no longer have to worry ‘bout those demons
and carnal sins reaching out to bring him back
into the reality he has tried for 27 years to escape…

                (ACT I, SCENE one)


I wrote this poem many years for a woman that was diagnosed by doctors as being in a persistent vegetative state. Her state of being became a highly publicized and prolonged series of legal challenges presented by the parents and by state and federal legislative intervention effected in total a seven-year delay before life support finally was terminated.

Life and death have no partnership
and I have lived,
fought to survive the cold in mans heart
took part in that I was given but now must depart
The End of Days are upon me
so every breath I take I savor
mind in a jumble,
unable to fend off death and say I,
want to live
or maybe I,
am ready to die
leave this hell behind and claim my spot in the sky beyond the stars.
I have held on for 13 years
and for 13 days and a dozen nights
those who felt death was more potent then my life
I have proved you wrong
and let you know that only God
can say when it’s time for me to go on home… 

   dedicated to Terri Schiavo

April 1,2005
2005@copyright
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